The Loop

What On Earth?

Folks have gone to prison for less than whatever the hell this Steve Ballmer celebration was

July 01, 2021

As incendiary and potentially misinformed as that headline might seem, it really does feel true. You might agree once you see what we're talking about.

During the L.A. Clippers' failed attempt at a comeback on Wednesday night against the Phoenix Suns, owner Steve Ballmer was, understandably, excited. Not just because his team was making a mini run, but because Ballmer literally wakes up excited. There's a good chance that simply being alive every day causes him to bounce off the walls with pure joy. We've all seen him going nuts during games, we've all seen the hilarious Windows 95 launch video. His presence alone brings a smile to everyone's face.

Having said that, everyone agrees that he got a little too excited on Wednesday night, and by a little too excited I mean he was close to grabbing the private parts of the two dudes sitting to his left and right:

Ummm, hey Steve, chill out? That's what I'd be saying if I was one of those guys, and they very well might have. Hard to tell with their masks on. What's not hard to tell is that they were both clearly uncomfortable with it, particularly the guy on the left, who pretty much threw Ballmer back in his seat and said "STOP GRABBING MY (blank)" without actually saying it:

Just an all-around wild, wild celebration, but also a very on brand one for Ballmer, a grade-a maniac. I guess when you have eff-you money, anything and everything is on the table.