Picky Drinkers
October 31, 2018

Short guy Dustin Pedroia REALLY hates warm beer

The seemingly annual Boston Red Sox World Series parade went down on Wednesday, and that means Masshollery was running at or near peak in the greater Boston area. That includes this punk, who could use an actual parent and not just a former high school quarterback with a BMW...

and also fully partially grown adults like Dustin Pedroia, who responded to receiving a free can of Bud Light from a fan by spiking it back at them and screaming “IT’S TOO WARM” in a tirade usually reserved for his kitchen staff.

Bud Light is barely drinkable at optimal conditions, let alone warm, but this is pretty embarrassing behavior from a man-child who gets paid multi-millions of dollars a year to play a couple of garbage-time innings once every three days. Boston fans will tell you he’s a hero, but they say that about every short white dude ever—Flutie, Edelman, Welker, Cousy, Vinatieri, et al.—so who gives a damn what they think anyway.

In the end, no one knows what prompted this ungrateful outburst except Pedroia. Perhaps it’s a flare-up of Little Guy Syndrome, but something tells us he was just following his manager’s lead...

P.S. Is it possible to bean a manager? Asking for a friend (named Luis Severino).