The Big Hazer
The “prank” Gary Payton says Shaq used to play on rookies is definitely illegal in 50 of 50 states
We all know Shaquille O’Neal—the architect of straight-faced fare such as ‘Kazaam’—doesn’t take himself too seriously. Unless he’s barking at Barkley, it’s all fun and games for The Big Stand-Up, and that was apparently the case throughout his career, where Shaq played the role of fun-loving mentor to countless rookies over the years … PSYCH! According to Gary Payton, he was an absolute hazing monster. Listen to this and then try not to Exorcist projectile vomit everywhere.
OK, so to recap: Gary Payton claims Shaq used to play this fun game with the rooks wherein Shaq would go to the bathroom in a bucket for “about a week.” Then, when the stew was ready, he would wait until a rookie went to use the stall and then dump the bucket over the top and onto the unsuspecting kid’s head. That Shaq, what a yuckster!
So yeah, probably goes without saying, but this is beyond f—ked up. Do you know the kind of diseases you can get from a stunt like that? Hep A-Z, folks. And all for what? For having the unfortunate luck to be drafted onto the same roster as The Big Bathroom Pot? This one of those scenarios where the punishment doesn’t fit the crime, it is the crime (probably literally in this case).
Who knows how true this really is. There’s no real reason not to believe Payton, but memory is a fuzzy, funny thing, especially when it comes to stuff you’re not that proud of. Here’s hoping he’s just getting some wires crossed somewhere, but in the meantime, next time you’re in the bathroom, remember to look up.