Brain Man

Sean McVay is football's 'Rain Man', remembers every play he's ever called

September 13, 2018
Los Angeles Rams v Oakland Raiders
Ezra Shaw

You could fill oceans with the amount of saliva football is currently producing for Sean McVay. HE'S ONLY 32! HE'S A YOUNG JON GRUDEN! HIS GIRLFRIEND IS HOTTER THAN THE SURFACE OF THE SUN! We get it, too. He's a cool, not-100-year-old man who doesn't look like he just rolled out of bed and into yesterday's Imperial Army leisure wear. He's also winning football games, which definitely helps.

Ordinarily this would be the part where we'd tell you to pump the breaks and temper the expectations. Your gods fail you. Your heroes turn out to be creeps. We know better. Really, we do. But then we saw this video of Sean McVay recalling, with tactical detail, non-scoring play calls from three years ago IN WASHINGTON, and well, let's just say we chugged the whole damn pitcher of Kool-Aid. All aboard the hype train, next stop LA:

Now we don't know anything about NFL play calling beyond yelling "PLAY ACTION" at the TV on 2nd and 1 after three straight halfback dives, but we can tell you that this is borderline Rain Man stuff. I can't remember what I made for dinner on Tuesday night, but Sean McVay can tell you exactly what Jamison Crowder was doing on some random Sunday three years ago. Forget his gf, this is what really gets football fans flustered and giggly.

Will we find out he's shitty to women or a flat-earther or that the one person he feels bad for in all of this is Roseanne? Quite possibly. Will the Rams finish 7-9 in the ensuing fallout? You betcha. But for now, McVay is the hottest commodity in football, and not even we can't argue with that.

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