The Loop

Rob Gronkowski telling the story of Tom Brady taking a shot of Fireball at the Kentucky Derby is your sports highlight of the week

January 07, 2021

Lost in all the rampant winning and Patriots ickiness in recent years is the fact that Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski have become one of the most enduring (and endearing) sports bromances of our time. A true odd couple—one straight-laced health nut, one slightly touched party boy—Brady and Gronk have been attached at the hip since Gronk’s rookie season. In fact, they have become so codependent, that when Brady packed his bags for Tompa Bay this spring, Gronk came running, summoned by magical conch and the promise of one last ride.

Thus far it has worked out well enough. The Bucs finished 11-5 and made the playoffs. Brady dispelled the system quarterback rumors and Gronk chipped in with seven signature TD grabs. But even if it all comes spectacularly apart against the WFT football team on Saturday night, the reunion was worth it for this tall tale alone, which Gronk relayed to reporters in preparation for Tampa Bay’s biggest game in well over a decade on Wednesday.

Maybe we’re wrong, but we don’t think cheap cinnamon whiskey is part of the TB12 Method. That alone, however, is testament to the dynamic duo’s unshakeable bond. Do you think Brady is poisoning his body with a shot of Fireball for just anybody? Hell no he’s not. There’s one person and one person only that Brady would do such a thing for, and that person is Gronk. Gronk is also the only person on earth who could sully King Tom’s good name—wrinkling his nose, croaking “how am I going to throw next week?” in impersonation of Tom’s reaction to the frat party swill—and live to tell the tale. Thus is the gift and curse and of friendship. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.