Sports Halloween costumes are a timeless tradition. Timeless in that it doesn't matter if you're nine or 49 and timeless because we can't remember a day or age when droves of Americans couldn't be found parading around leaf-dappled Main Streets draped in the robes of their athletic heroes. As a by-product of the decade-over-decade obsession, however, it now takes a lot to move the needle in the arena of sports costumery. It's not enough to throw on a red polo and call yourself Tiger anymore. You have to raise the bar. Stripes, a tail, 15 major championships. The whole kit. The whole kaboodle. There are no half measures. These days, you're either in, or you're out.
Which brings us to Andrew Perloff, of Dan Patrick Show semi-fame, who stepped up this year with what might well be the greatest sports costume in the history of Halloween full stop. Ladies and gentleman, behold Punt, Pass, and Kick Andy Reid.
This is elite-level costuming. The source material is the perfect middle ground between just obscure enough but not so obtuse that you spend the entirety of your evening explaining the historical origins of your garb to random trick or treaters on the street. The costume is also authentic—a custom but still high-quality (i.e. not stitched together by your mom) recreation of Reid's classic Rams-inspired Punt, Pass, and Kick uniform. Then there are the little lived-in details that truly set this one apart. Perloff recruits his daughter Emma for scale, the same way Redi's competitors did for him when he was but a giant 13-year-old. He also effectively nails Reids signature cannon-arm mechanics, bringing his character to life in a fun, believable way that avoids the usual pitfalls of mean-spirited mimicry. They even spelled Reid's name wrong, in tribute to the iconic typo.
Now, we'll be the first to admit that this year's sports costume party has provided some stiff competition, from ambitious salvos like LeDward Scissorhands...
to classics like Marc-Andre Furry...
These certainly give ol' Andy "Ried" a run for his money, but in the end, only one man deserves the cobwebbed crown, and that man, future NFL head coach and giant amongst teenagers, just hurled a football over the damn moon.
Hell, I think I even went as Dan Marino one year, back when it wasn't a black mark on your soul to be Dolphins fans.