The Loop
Polish highway closes after overturned truck spills 12 tons(!) of chocolate
Almost two months to the day after an overturned truck spilling 60,000 pounds of Busch beer on a Florida highway, Poland had its own odd massive mess when a tanker carrying 12 tons of liquid chocolate toppled over. Yep, that's 12 TONS of liquid chocolate. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.
But those stuck in this glorious brown goo weren't thrilled. All four lanes of a major road connecting Warsaw and Poznan were closed, causing major delays. But boy, the entire area must have smelled fantastic.
“We have to remove the truck from the highway first,” Marlena Kukawka, a media officer for the police in the small town of Slupca, told the New York Times. “It will take a few hours or more."
And they also had to remove the chocolate. Kukawka said firefighters sprayed hot water to melt away this liquid gold. Tragic. A bulldozer was also used to push away the tasty speed trap. And those who were lucky enough to have a spoon on them got out of their cars and dug in.
OK, so we made up that last part, but seriously, why not? If you're stuck in a bad traffic jam, who knows when your next meal will be? And again, it's 12 tons of CHOCOLATE! Mmm.
Imagine calling whoever ordered all that chocolate and breaking the news?
"Um, hi sir, we regret to inform you we spilled your chocolate shipment."
"All of it?!"
"Yep. All 12 tons. Our apologies. We'll get another shipment to you as soon as we make 12 more tons of chocolate. Just a heads up, that might take awhile."
"Is this a freaking joke?!"
No it's not. And neither is the fact that chocolate is an endangered species. Talk about a, um, dark day.