Behold the most low-energy shift in the history of the National Hockey League
To quickly get you up to speed, Pierre-Luc Dubois, the Columbus Blue Jackets' third overall pick in 2016, requested a trade earlier this week. Not long after, during Columbus' 3-2 win over the Detroit Red Wings on Monday, Dubois appeared to have been benched in the second period by head coach John Tortorella.
Tortorella denied any such benching after the game (Dubois wound up scoring his first and only goal of the season in the third period), telling reporters "you'll know when I bench someone."
That statement proved to be true on Thursday evening, when everyone could see Dubois parked to the bench in plain sight in the Blue Jackets' 3-2 OT loss to the defending Stanley Cup champion Tampa Bay Lightning. The reason? This shift in the first period, which would end up being Dubois' final shift of the night, probably because it was the most low-energy shift in the history of the National Hockey League:
Do less, Pierre. No, do less. Well, actually, you're not really doing anything, you gotta do a little more than that. The less you do, the more you do...
Movie references aside, that was an absolutely brutal shift, and one that ain't gonna get it done in the NHL. After watching it a few times, and realizing he was parked to the pine after, you'd expect some fire from our lord and savior Torts, but he danced around the Dubois questions, a tough blow from the content gods:
A calmer, kinder Torts. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.