Photographer tackles and disrobes Penn State streaker, wins college football weekend
In the era of "yo dude, I'm gonna [insert really stupid act here], film me," it has become borderline impossible to properly police streakers, which is to say to stop them before they begin streaking. Hence why we see a streaker almost once a week now at a baseball or football game.
Often times, security is so pre-occupied that the streaker can cover a ton of ground before even being seen, and even when they are seen it takes someone taking matters into their own hands to actually stop the person. Someone like L.A. Rams linebacker Bobby Wagner, who, earlier this month, messed up a streaker so badly during Monday Night Football that the streaker wound up filing a police report.
Or, someone like this photographer at Penn State, who did a better job taking down a streaker this past Saturday night on his own than a group of five security guards in those ugly-ass yellow jackets could do as a unit. That's not a put-down, either. This photographer is just that good at getting sh-t done:
Seriously, how many times have we seen streakers dodge, duck, dip dive and dodge multiple security guards before actually being taken down (or sometimes getting away entirely)? Too many times. Meanwhile, photog guy here dropped his camera, absolutely CLOSED on the streaker and managed to grab some shirt so he didn't get away before finally securing the tackle. Legend status in Happy Valley. That man easily won the college football weekend.
(In this section, we give out helmet stickers to those who *almost* won the college football weekend)
Five helmet stickers: Nick Saban, for being Nick Saban 24/7/365
If you think this is an act, you couldn't be more wrong. Doesn't matter if it's 59-0 against New Mexico State, 30-0 against Mississippi State, or 49-49 against Tennessee (too soon?), Saban is going to be Saban 100 percent of the time. And that means when he's defense is pitching a shutout, he's fighting tooth and nail for that shutout, which explains why with 20 seconds left he was infuriated with a pass interference penalty on his defense that allowed the Bulldogs to score with one second on the clock to wipe the zero off the board. Saban asks for 60 minutes of his team's undivided attention and he only got it for 59 minutes and 40 seconds and that caused him to lose it. After letting the Vols hang 52 on 'em, you can tell he wanted this shutout BADLY. Oh well. He had to settle for a dominant win that will ease them into the bye week before they go to LSU and then to Ole Miss. Win those two, skate past Austin Peay and Auburn, and Bama will be back in the SEC title game and back in the College Football Playoff picture, as always. Cheer up, Nick.
Four helmet stickers: Jordan Rodgers
This video clip is quite literally what the "no context college football" Twitter account was made for:
Apologies to NCCFB, but we're going to provide a little context: that's Jordan Rodgers, estranged brother of Aaron, calling the South Carolina-Texas A&M game, more specifically calling this camera shot of a line of corndogs at Williams-Brice Stadium. It's been a big year for, um, large and oddly-shaped food at college football stadiums (remember the cougar tail?).
Apparently, the South Carolina State Fair was taking place outside the stadium during this game, hence the obscenely American food selections here, like that donut burger which for some reason had lettuce on it.
By the way, screengrab of the year material right here:
Three helmet stickers: West Virginia kicker Casey Legg
As far as kicker names go, it doesn't get any better than Casey Legg, who is a perfect 11-for-11 on fields goals this season and 25-for-25 on extra points, putting him in the discussion for the Lou Groza award. It appears as though Legg missed his true calling, however: acting.
One might say he ... broke a Legg with that performance. I'll see myself out.
Two helmet stickers: Marshawn Lynch
You have nobody but yourself to blame (ESPN) if you put Marshawn on a hot mic and expect this NOT to happen. Not enough five-second delays on the planet to stop Beast Mode from dropping a hard mofo on live TV.
Minus-10 helmet stickers: Texas Tech bell guy
For the love of God, get a new tradition, or find a way to ring that bell in a different manner. Please.
On second thought, this has become one of college football's greatest traditions. Keep ringing away and Wreck 'Em Tech.
Minus-1 million helmet stickers: Weber State's longsnapper
I loathe that cringey "you had one job" segment on "College GameDay" each week, but holy moly, dude, you literally had ONE. FREAKING. JOB:
The literal definition of one job - snap the ball to the punter. This has to be the worst day at the office in worst-day-at-the-office history. And yes, in case you we're wondering, he DID IT AGAIN!!!!
Four airmailed snaps. All resulting in safeties. That's eight points for those keeping score. The final? Montana State 43, Weber State 38, giving the Wildcats their first loss of the season. Nightmare fuel of the highest order for that young man.