The Presidents Cup isn't for another five months and the Ryder Cup not for another 14. The British Open has been the Open Championship for years now and is currently being waged in Northern Ireland, which lies across a literal sea from anything even remotely "British." But forget all that Logic n' Reason for a moment and instead bask in the semi-sensical glory of Kevin "Nobody Beats Him Because He's The Kiz" Kisner rocking a "1776" hat like a true patriot at Royal Portrush on Monday. The limey redcoats haven't faced a threat like this since
Paul Revere Mel Gibson.
So let's start with the good stuff: Ian Poulter just threw up in his mouth a bit, it's totally OK to love your country, and at least it's not that red hat with white script on the front. You know the one. The bad stuff? Well, it seems like a bit of a weird morning to be going all ra ra America and also Kevin Kisner is coming off a missed cut at a historically tame Scottish Open this weekend. Maybe he's not the one we want flying the freak flag for American golf this week. Then again, beggars can't be choosers and Tiger hasn't worn anything but a swoosh since the Clinton administration.
In completely unrelated news, local authorities are also looking for a man who was spotted dumping tea into the North Sea on Sunday night while shouting "GO DAWGS!" Individuals with any information pertaining to this case should call Portrush PD at their nearest convenience.