March Madness
Northern Kentucky's band leader—seen here losing their marbles to Lit—is the first viral star of the 2023 tourney
Day one of the 2023 NCAA Tournament is in the books, and like most day ones in tourney history, it was madness. First, little old Furman, AKA the Fightin’ Faxons, took down Virginia with a little help from the most brain-dead turnover college basketball has seen in years. Then a few hours later, Arizona had the blue blood drained from their veins, losing to a bunch of Ivy League nerds from Princeton in one of the perennially underachieving program’s greatest underachievements yet. Despite all the thrills and spills on the court, however, the star of the tournament so far emerged just off of it. Sound way the hell up, America.
L.E.G.E.N.D. Dude has more energy than a skinny Chris Farley. He’s got more pep in his step than the entire rally. In fact, his performance here—decked out like Colonel Mustard meets Tony Montana—is almost enough to make up for the fact he picked the most annoying karaoke song of all time in Lit’s “My Own Worst Enemy” to cover.
Unfortunately, the band director’s two-stepping antics weren’t enough to propel the Norse (yes, they’re really called that) to victory, falling to top-seeded Houston 63-52. There’s no telling if they’ll be back next year, but fingers crossed. We didn’t get to hear their cover of “Sugar, We’re Going Down” yet.