ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALLLLL!?!?
But hang on. Before you get too carried away with the Busch Light and Skynyrd, allow us to kill the buzz just a bit. What you see below is a not a typo or a glitch in the cosmos. It's the actual score of an actual preseason football game, broadcast live on Fox on Thursday night. Nothing pushes anthem protests, CTE, and Joe Buck to the back of the mind like a good ol' fashioned barnburner, amirite?
If that were an MLB box score, the stadium would have been flooding out to the parking lot by "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." When I saw this on the ESPN ticker this morning, I literally thought it was some poor stat intern's f*ck up, but nope, this one is on Nick Foles and Tyrod Taylor, who combined to go 24/33 for 162 yards, 2 interceptions, and 0 touchdowns. In fact, since we're already waste deep in sewage, it's probably worth mentioning that the defending Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles have scored a grand total of zero points with Nick Foles behind center this entire preseason. But don't worry football fans, BAKER MAYFIELD JUKED SOMEONE, BIGGEST TURNAROUND IN NFL HISTORY HERE WE COME:
Anyway, if you'll excuse us, we have a date with an entire bottle of NyQuil. Wake us up when September ends.