Today in completely gratuitous acts of random media consumption, Netflix, in their year-end user audit, released one particularly mind-boggling little nugget: One Canadian user streamed the final installment of Peter Jackon’s LOTR film triology, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, 361 orc-flogging times this year.
Not 3.61. Not 36.1. 361. No decimal. No mercy.
Now don’t get us wrong, the Academy Award-winning Return of the King is not only the greatest fantasy film ever made, but also the best trilogy coup de grace in Hollywood history, but this? This is just disturbing. Return of the King clocks in at a whopping three hours and 21 minutes. That means this particular viewer spent just over 1,158 hours of their presumably human life watching Viggo Mortensen swing a giant rubber sword at a bunch of CG ghouls this year.
Further compounding the absurdity of this achievement is the fact that, while technically a year-end tally, the year isn’t even over yet. As of Monday, December 11th, there have been 345 excruciating days in 2017, which means this Middle Earth wanderer has averaged 1.04 viewings of the Return of the King PER DAY this year. At that current rate, by the time New Year’s Eve 2017 turns over to New Year’s Day 2018, the yearly viewing total would rise to 381.8—or 382, minus that crappy epilogue where Frodo whines his way into heaven or whatever. Crazy impressive or just plain crazy? You decide.