The Pefect Storm

Nashville meteorologist warns of "Super Titan Storm" set to hit New England on Wild Card weekend

January 3, 2020

It's NFL Wild Card weekend and things are going to get, um, wild. The Saint and Vikes face off in Minneapolis Miracle 2: Full Throttle. Bills Mafia will be out in force. It could be the last time we see Tom Brady lineup under center in the National Football League. Well, at least according to Nashville weatherman Jared Plushnick, who took to the WKRN airwaves on Friday morning to predict one of the rarest meteorological phenomena known to man: The dreaded Super Titan Storm, which is barreling down on the New England coastline as we speak. Board up the windows and batten down the hatches, Pats fans. This is going to get worse before it gets better.

The result of a convergence of Hurricane Henry and Typhoon Tannehill, the Super Titan Storm is predicted to create a significant storm surge, resulting in a flood of Titans touchdowns and possibly even Tommy tears. Not even noted witch doctor Bill Belichick will be able to hold off the Super Titan Storm come kickoff. It is, quite literally, the perfect storm. Pray for Mark Wahlberg, America.

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Unfortunately for Mr. Plushnick, our weather doppler doesn't see the Super Titan Storm making landfall on Saturday night. Sure, the Patriots are coming off a loss to the Dolphins in a game they were very much trying to win. Yes, the last time they played in a Wild Card game was a decade ago and they were outscored 24-0 by the Ravens . . . IN THE FIRST QUARTER. But still, this is the Titans we're talking about here. They're pretty good! But are they beat the Patriots at Gillette in the postseason good? Barring the sudden emergence of a Vrabel Vortex, not a chance.

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