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The Sanchize

Mark Sanchez delivered the best (and weirdest) call of the NFL on season on Sunday

September 19, 2022

Football sounds different this year. Tirico is working weekends again. Troy and Buck are now the single amorphous monotone of Monday night. Herbie’s excited tenor has moved to the pro ranks on Thursdays. Meanwhile, out in La La Land, Mark Sanchez—AKA the artist formerly known as Sanchize—has taken his talents to the Fox booth. On Sunday, he was on the call of Falcons-Rams at SoFi Stadium, and despite his relative inexperience beneath the headset, he delivered one of the great calls of the football season so far. Clear those caches and crank that volume, kiddos.

We’ve heard countless euphemisms about the big fellas in the trenches over the years. “Pancake” blocks, “hog mollies,” “road pavers,” "giant purple people eaters." But we have never heard big uglies clearing out linebackers at the second level likened to a teenager erasing their porn history from their parents’ computer. That’s a new one.

So thanks to Mark for his contribution to the weirdo football announcing canon. On one of the wildest weekend’s in recent NFL memory, in which the Jets pulled off a high-school comeback for the ages, the Bucs-Saints cleared the benches, and Kevin Harlan delivered a Rick Flair “woo!” for every completed pass in the Dolphins-Ravens 42-38 shootout, one soundbite stood head and shoulders above the rest. Sanchize, we salute you.