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Man pleads guilty to dumb baby gender reveal that caused massive wildfire, $8 million in damages

November 28, 2018

We've heard some wild explanations for how wildfires start and spread — just ask our President — but this is one we never saw coming: a baby gender reveal.

An Arizona man has plead guilty to accidentally starting a wildfire by firing a gun at a collection of explosives in 2017. The explosives created a large cloud of blue smoke (Yay, it's a boy!), but the flames wound up burning more than 45,000 acres and causing $8 million in damages. Check out this wild report from CBS News:

And as many people were quick to point out, that poor kid is probably on his own now when it comes to paying for college.

This was bound to happen, folks. These baby gender reveals started with harmlessly popping balloons, but they're getting out of control. The Atlanta Falcons recently gave a Gatorade bath to a teammate, another one in Florida incorporated an alligator (Fun!), and now this? We're blowing up stuff and causing infernos over a coin flip? Absolute madness.

And that's not even taking into account the mental toll these silly celebrations have on those involved, especially when they're taped and the world can see the result isn't what you were hoping for (Sorry, Gordon Hayward). So please stop with these shenanigans before more harm is done. Just ask your doctor to tell you the sex of your child like everyone did before the 21st century. It's simpler, safer, and you won't run the risk of owing millions of dollars in damages before you've paid for a single diaper.