Los Angeles Chargers stage glorious revolt over London relocation rumors

November 05, 2019

Let's just get this out of the way up front: The Los Angeles Chargers haven't been a huge hit in La La Land. They play in a soccer stadium half populated by opposing teams' fans. They're still mistakingly referred to as the "San Diego Chargers" about once every broadcast. They have not put down roots, so to speak, and thus when rumors that the NFL had targeted the Chargers for a potential London relocation began to swirl on Tuesday, no one was surprised. Least of all the people who have come to expect idiotic decision making from their national football juggernaut.

Allowing Dean Spanos to put the entire franchise on a flatbed and ship it 90 minutes north was a bad enough idea already, especially considering Stan Kroenke's traveling carnival was also rolling into town that same year. But not being huge fans of lesson learnin', the NFL is now reportedly thinking about moving a team that couldn't handle 120 miles EIGHT FREAKING TIME ZONES. The Chargers already can't win in the 1 p.m. block in Miami. What do you expect to happen if you tack on another ocean? Spoiler Alert: It probably looks something like this:

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Thankfully for fans of American football staying, at the very least, North American, Spanos—whose fault this whole mess is anyway—and the Chargers are not going quietly. Exactly the opposite, in fact. On Tuesday afternoon, in response to what we now assume were fairly substantiated rumors, the Chargers issued one of the most public revolts of management in NFL history, and as you've probably already guessed, it was absolutely glorious. First came the big man himself, who didn't exactly mince his f-bombs...

Then the Chargers social media crew got in on the act, meme-ifying their angst with another f-bomb laced tirade, this time courtesy of Leo "Wolf of Wall Street" DiCaprio. Leo, take it away...

Suffice to say, Bolts HQ should be expecting a phone call from Roger Goodell any second now. This is the kind of problem you're supposed to keep "in house" in the NFL, but the Chargers said f—K it (literally) and hung everybody's dirty laundry up to dry, including the league's nasty relocation granny panties. That definitely going to earn them a week or two in the hole, but man, oh man was it worth it.