The Loop

Local idiot marries can of Keystone Light because true love knows no bounds

It's the height of summer and love is in the air. Weddings dot the green, rolling hills and new passions bloom on beaches from coast to coast. It's time to be carefree. It's time to take the plunge. And if you're Erik Carboni—a Massachusetts-based chemical engineer/perma-bachelor—it's time to officially tie the knot with a can of Keystone Light. No really, we're not making this up.

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This past weekend, Carboni, with the help of a licensed officiant and a full wedding party, wed his longtime love, Keystone Light. An official wedding page helped to guide guests to the intimate backyard venue, including the "bride's" family, who flew in from coolers across America for the joyous occasion.

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Sources close to the groom expressed reservations that perhaps he could do better—that maybe in the long run, a nice dry-hopped IPA would be better for him—but love doesn't play by the rules and the nuptials were eventually sealed with a first dance to Edwin McCain’s “I’ll Be.”

To commemorate their union, the man-child and inanimate object have partnered with Keystone Light to plan the honeymoon of a lifetime, and you can even help decide where they take it. Our suggestion would be Boston Psychiatric Hospital, but we also hear Maui is nice this time of year.