124th U.S. Open

Pinehurst No. 2

Ta-Ta-Today Junior

Want to waste 17 seconds of your life? Just watch Josh Winckowski try to throw a pickoff

You’re a busy person. You’ve got places to go and people to see, and no matter where you are headed, you’re probably trying to duck out early to beat traffic. So we’ll get right to the point:

Red Sox’ pitcher Josh Winckowski needs to pick up the pace.

That was Winckowski during last night’s tough outing against the mighty sluggin’ Yanks, who roughed him up to the tune of six runs in five innings of work. In the fourth inning, with a runner on first and one out, Winckowski turned into one of those gold-painted statue people that stand around Times Square, taking nearly 17 Mississippi to throw a baseball, which he didn’t even put over the plate. Instead he fired it over to first hold the runner and set up to do the whole thing over again. Brutal, brutal stuff.

At this point a pitch clock is not a matter of if but when, and thank the gods for that, because this kind of stuff has to stop. The year is 2022. People can pay their credit card bill faster than this. And speaking of credit cards, they didn’t plunk a hundred bucks on a weeknight to sit in an uncomfortable plastic seat at some stadium built before cars to watch Winckowski have a staring contest. They paid to watch him throw the damn baseball so please, Josh, we implore you: