Thanks A Lot, Tom

Josh Gordon, who has massive #12 tattooed on his back, will wear #10 for the Patriots

September 20, 2018

From Providence to Portland, the number 12 belongs to Tahmmy. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised to find 11 eggs in every dozen at Cumbies all along the North Shore. Seriously. Ordinarily this isn't a problem. Boston sports fans know where they stand—forever groveling in the shadow of their great, pliable savior. But this week the Patriots traded a fifth round pick for embattled Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon, who has not only worn the #12 for his entire career, but actually has it tattooed on his back, and suddenly things are a little awkward in Pats Nation...

Whoopsie. Unsurprisingly, the next Randy Moss Josh Gordon will be not swiping the Golden Boy's precious numero doce, but opting for a nice, solid 10 instead. Whether or not this universal imbalance will affect Gordon's play on the field remains to be seen, especially considering Bill Belichick still won't admit that Gordon is a New England Patriot, saying "I’m not going to talk about players that are not actually, I would say, on our roster totally" on Wednesday, a day when Gordon LITERALLY PRACTICED WITH THE NEW ENGLAND FREAKIN' PATRIOTS. God, grant me the strength.

Regardless of what that walking colonoscopy has to say, however, Gordon is a Patriot and will be wearing number 10 on his jersey and number 12 on his back, and if you have any doubts about either of those things, just open your eyes (and your wallet):

MORE FROM THE LOOP
Decisions

Should You Take A Golf Trip This Year?

December 10, 2018