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Jordan Spieth's calloused mitts make hockey players look like hand models

February 08, 2019

Don't get us wrong, Jordan Spieth has great hands...and no we're not talking about his short game. Seriously, just take a look at their pearly expanses and immaculately manicured cuticles and try to tell us he doesn't have a lucrative post-golf career as the hand-model successor to J.P. Prewitt waiting for him:

Justin Thomas Throws First Pitch At Boston Red Sox Game

Jim Rogash

But when you're grinding on the range, trying to find your game after, let's be honest, a down year, the health of the 'ol digits is a secondary concern. Spieth proved as much on Friday, revealing his mangled mitts at the Pebble Beach Pro Am, showing everyone that the life of a tour pro is not all glitz, glamour, and expensive Swiss moisturizers.

Ladies and gentleman, these are what we in the industry call battle scars. If we didn't know any better, we'd say Spieth accidentally dropped his engagement ring in the garbage disposal and then flicked the wrong light switch while trying to fish it out. But we've seen Spieth work and we know these are just the occupational hazards.

Spieth wasn't the only victim of what has been overall a pretty rough morning in the world of sports hands, however, with images of Capitals enforcer Tom Wilson's fist after a one-sided tilt with the Avs' Ian Cole also surfacing on the horrifying image-strewn internet. Taking umbrage with a cheap shot the he himself has administered like a million times, Wilson went after Cole with right upon right upon right, settling matters quickly, quietly, and with extreme prejudice:

Despite his victory by unanimous decision, though, Wilson's knuckles still looked like pulled pork by the time he skated over to the penalty to box for a band-aid (or six).

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Gross, to be sure, but who takes the nasty knuckled crown? The pampered tour pro or the grizzled NHL bad boy? In this case, it's not even close. Spieth's paws run away with The Loop's iconic Golden Fist by some distance. Sure, it's no green jacket, but if Jordan keeps grinding like his callouses suggest, perhaps he'll need another hanger for the closet come April.