This weekend, after an extra day of February that absolutely nobody asked for, the calendar officially turned to March. That means spring is right around the corner. That means you can now shamelessly drink Guinness for breakfast. But most importantly, that means baseball—actual, meaningful baseball—is less than a month away. It's been one of choppiest offseasons in recent memory, so maybe that light at the end of winter's tunnel isn't burning so bright this year. But don't worry. If this Vladimir Guerrero Jr. dinger to end all Vladimir Gurrero Jr. dingers isn't enough enough to rekindle the baseball fire in your heart, the problem isn't baseball. It's you. (Sound way the hell up).
Holy bajeebus, Batman. We all know Vladdy can rake, but this is more like an industrial-grade leaf blower. It's not a frozen rope, it's a freaking comet trail deep in outer space. It not a bomb, it's a six-megaton moon killer. If this landed in the parking lot instead of slamming into the outfield fence, it wouldn't just break a windshield, it would blow up the whole damn Camry. Just look at that bat speed. See how he turns his full 250-pound frame on that pitch. This is Rated R for graphic baseball violence.
2020 will mark Vladdy's first full season in the majors. The son of Hall of Famer Vladimir Guerrero was called up late April 2019 after years of prospect nerds drooling over grainy footage of his minor league warpath. In 464 at-bats last year, he registered 69 RBIs and 15 homers while posting a solid 2.1 WAR, but the Blue Jays will be hoping for even more from they're Rawlings-spanking juggernaut in 2020. From the looks of things, they just might get it.