Missed Opportunities

This nixxed ‘Happy Gilmore’ Xbox game is one of humanity’s great what-ifs

File this one under “missed opportunities,” folks. According to Mike Mika, current head developer at DigitalEclipse games, way back in the early aughts the world was on the verge of getting a legitimate ‘Happy Gilmore’ game for the OG Xbox. Then, despite the enthusiasm of everyone involved, the project fell through, never to be heard from again. We will now give you a moment to process this news and contemplate how different your life might have turned out should your youth have included this masterpiece.

But wait, the pill gets even tougher to swallow. The innocuous tweet from Mika quickly blew up and he began divulging more info about the scrapped game in the mentions. Originally planned to be a hybrid golf-fighting game inspired by the Atari 7800 cult classic ‘Ninja Golf’ (which Mika’s tech director at the time had worked on), the game allegedly included Abraham Lincoln and Chubbs' gator as unlockable characters and, most importantly, had the support of the Big Daddy himself. Don’t be embarrassed if you’re sobbing snotty, uncontrollable tears of remorse right now. It’s a completely normal reaction.

While the game was eventually scrapped for reasons that Mika didn’t elaborate on, perhaps there is some hope. The video game market is bigger and more diverse than ever before. Mobile, Google, and even Netflix have now joined the PC- and console-only club that was around at the time of the game’s first pitch. The world has seen and survived ‘Outlaw Golf.’ Even the PGA Tour is getting back into the gaming world in a big way. Retool the concept as an online battle royale and you just might have a new ‘Fortnite’ on your hands.

See you on Twitch, Bryson.