Frank Gore's hands are registered as lethal weapons
Frank Gore is the man. This is not breaking news. The 36-year-old shoe-in Hall of Famer is the Dorian Gray of NFL running backs. While his young challengers have fallen by the wayside, Gore has continued moving the chains, surviving stints in Miami and now Buffalo with the same linebacker-obliterating pep in his step. Many have wondered how he does it—there's no daily snake-oil supplements or pliability t-shirts like his aging quarterback counterpart—and now we finally have the answer: Gore maintains that killer instinct through good ol' fashioned fisticuffs.
That, friends, is the most terrifying thing we've seen since young Mike Tyson, the bar by which all terrifying things are measured at Loop HQ. Gore has always been more a sledgehammer than a scalpel while running the rock, but his hands are exactly the opposite. Lightning quick, with a musical rhythm to lull hapless victims straight to sleep. Needless to say, Myles Garrett would need a hell of a lot more than a helmet to take Frank the Tank down.
Backing up Devin Singletary in Buffalo this year, Gore has finally started to show his age, averaging just under four yards a carry while producing 476 yards and two touchdowns. But hey, even if this is the end, at least Gore has a bright, post-football future waiting for him in the ring.