The Loop

Florida man beats mechanic with golf club for fixing car too slow, because Florida man

October 04, 2019

The list of "Florida man" stories has become the stuff of legend in recent years. And not the good kind of legend. In fact, there are so many that Esquire published "The 90 Wildest Florida Man Stories of 2019 (So Far)." In APRIL! But while it's tough to keep track of all these wild crime tales (Things like "Florida Man Dances through DUI sobriety test" and "Florida Man Who Allegedly Threatened Family with Coldplay Lyrics Ends Standoff After SWAT Promises Him Pizza"), one jumped out on Friday morning because Florida man struck again. Literally.

Also, this particular story involves two tried-and-true staples of the Sunshine State: An elderly man and a golf club.

According to the Bradenton Herald and the Manatee County Sheriff's Office (Even the county names in Florida are great), a 56-year-old (Florida) man has been charged with aggravated battery for hitting his mechanic over the head with a golf club. Apparently, the (Florida) man was upset with how long the mechanic was taking to fix his car so the mechanic told him he was done trying to help and started packing up his tools. So obviously, the (Florida) man got a golf club from behind his house and attacked.

Via Manatee County Sheriff's Office, here is the mugshot of the (Florida) man, Ronnie Cardenas, who admitted to the attack:


Scary stuff. Fortunately, the victim is doing OK after receiving medical attention, including several stitches. Considering a Florida man pulled a sword in a fight over trash last week, it could have been a lot worse.