The Loop

No All Heroes Use Syrup

This guy spent 24 hours in a Waffle House as punishment for finishing last in his fantasy football league and the Twitter thread is a white-knuckle thrill ride

June 18, 2021

Chances are if you’ve ever played fantasy football, you’ve found yourself wondering why you ever played fantasy football. Usually around Week 4. You’re 1-3 and starting Derek Carr, a tight end whose best-case scenario is catching one of two targets for a garbage-time touchdown, and a running back who was washed during the Obama Administration (admit it, you started Adrian Peterson at least once last year). In these moments you’ll swear up and down that you’ll never do it again, but something always keeps you coming back. What is it? The camaraderie? Invested interest in Lions-Texans on Thanksgiving? Something to do, pure and simple?

Perhaps. But mostly it’s because of heroes like Lee Sanderlin, who was forced to spend 24 hours in a Waffle House as punishment for finishing last in his league last season and documented the entire harrowing adventure on Twitter as a lesson to us all. Lee’s thread is proof that fantasy football isn’t so much a game but a code, an ethos, a way of life. It is honor amongst thieves and, in that way, hope for us all. Let’s begin.

If we were to pick a Waffle House to spend 24 hours in, we'd stay way the hell away from Mississippi, but to each artist their own brush.

Anybody else suddenly want waffles?

Not all heroes wear capes . . . probably because they’d drag on the Waffle House floor all day and you reallyyyyy don’t want that.

Anybody else suddenly not want waffles?

Anyway, it continues on like that for exactly nine waffles and 15 hours. It’s full of thrills, chills, and spills. There’s puke, there’s a fellow diner with a taser, there’s countless instances of Lee staring total despair right in the face and laughing. It merely adopted the darkness. He was born in it.

We highly suggest you give the whole thing a read and take from it what you will. Perhaps you’ll think twice about fantasy football this fall. Maybe you’ll just order the french toast. Either way, you're sure to learn something along the way.