I don't bet on sports. Many of my colleagues do. It seems fun and occasionally gratifying. Some delusional part of me even thinks I might be good at it. But I don't because I never, ever want to be this guy; screaming "NOOO!" like a bookie now owns my house because Hawaii basketball missed a garbage time lay-up in the DirectTV Wooden Legacy semifinal against Seton Hall. Never. Ever.
That said, I'm glad somebody is this guy, because this is far and away the funniest sports soundbite you'll hear this week. The arena is half full with friends and family and here is one dude in the nosebleeds running FanDuel off the hot dog stand WiFi while clutching a pocket full of dreams (and pony tickets). When it all goes down the drain—as it will when you're putting actual U.S. currency on HAWAII FREAKING BASKETBALL—he can't help but scream like Brad Pitt opening a cardboard box. It's just a reflex, the same as breathing and putting $50 on red, but man what a hell of a reflex.
Needless to say, we hope this guy is OK. We hope he can still put gifts under the tree and afford a bus ticket back to Carson City. But let this be a lesson, kids (and grown-ass adults): If you're going to let it ride, do it from the comfort of your Rent-A-Center couch, because you never know where, when, or by whom you're going to get burned.