Even Jeopardy! firebrand James Holzhauer is dragging Drake now

Nobody expects you to feel bad for Drake, but the Nickelodeon nerd-turned-future Canadian Prime Minister had a tough a weekend. On Saturday night, Anthony Joshua—a -2500 favorite and pound-for-pound one of the best boxers on the planet—had his perfect 22-0 record smashed by this guy...

...months after vowing to break the Toronto MC's infamous curse with this photo:

Best laid plans, amirite? Then on Sunday, the universe found Drake suffering through his beloved Raptors' loss in Game 2 of the NBA Finals and decided to doll out a little more equilibrium, sicking Kevin Durant and Klay Thompson on him in the tunnel after the game in a video that has since gone viral:

As if all that weren't enough, on Monday, while Drake was still busy slathering aloe all over his weekend burns, Jeopardy! champ James Holzhauer piled on in response to (SPOILER ALERT) now-confirmed rumors that Monday night will be his last on the iconic game show. When it rains it pours...

Obviously this is a joke, but it still goes to show how deeply Drake and his curse have embedded themselves in the shag carpet of American society. As some in the comments have pointed out, though, it might not be fair to assume Drake was architect of Holz-power's downfall. For years, Aubrey Graham has had a corner on the bad sports juju market, but recently, in deep, dark places yet unknown to man, a new rival has been gaining strength, coiled like a great serpent waiting to strike. His name? Paul Pierce. His game? Chaos.