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The Loop

Does this Frank’s Red Hot commercial prove Eli was actually the funny Manning brother all along?

January 19, 2021

On Tuesday morning, the world turned upside down. Black is now white, left is now right, and hot has, of course, become cold. Everything we thought we knew about the universe is, in fact, precisely the opposite and it’s all because of Eli Manning.

Shine on you crazy diamond.

That’s Eli Manning’s new Frank’s Red Hot commercial, and it has flipped the football world on its head. It has turned gravity into anti-gravity. We now walk on water and sink into earth. Is it possible, we ask ourselves, staring wild-eyed into our new bizarro void, that Eli was in fact the funny Manning brother all along? The answer is indoubtably, improbably yes.

Would a non-funny person make this face?

Would a non-funny person do all of this?

No, no they wouldn’t. Sure, Peyton has gone on SNL and thrown footballs at little kids’ heads, but that doesn’t make you funny. It makes you a sicko. In other words, if Peyton is Bob Saget, Eli is John Mulaney. He has a little something for everyone, even mom. Needless to say, we can't wait for the Netflix special.