There's always that one guy. You know him. The dude at the gas station or grocery store—on the subway platform or in the waiting room—who wants to shoot the shit. He's got his head up. He's trying to make eye contact. Give him an inch and he'll tell you his unabridged life story in the dairy section, forcing you to fake an emergency "my wife's in labor call" that he'll probably offer to help out with, because he was a doctor once, you know.
In advance of Super Bowl LII this weekend, Eagles tight end Brent Celek went undercover at a Philly-area Wawa (if you don't know what Wawa is, just ask your South Jersey friends and stand back), as almost exactly that guy, chatting up random, increasingly creeped out passerbys about his upcoming road trip, toxic work environment and convenience-store meatballs. Check out the cringe-worthy comedy below.
Highlights include asking a woman to count his push-ups, catching flying hoagies, and having several people help him carry an entire rack of Lays to the counter. We're not exactly sure that a relatively unrecognizable NFL role player masquerading as a guy who struggles to pick up social cues tracks from a scripting standpoint, but there's plenty of raw entertainment value to go around, so we'll try to not to go all Ebert & Roeper on this.
Super Bowl LII airs Sunday 2/4 at—ah screw it, you know when the Super Bowl is.