Shots Fired
July 30, 2020

Dodgers broadcaster absolutely eviscerates Jose Altuve after Altuve gets caught looking

Just as everyone was finally having a little fun on Wednesday, MLB decided the fun had to CEASE immediately. The Joe Kelly love-fest turned into a Rob Manfred hatefest when Kelly was hit with an eight-game suspension for … (checks notes) … not hitting a single Houston Astros batter, just making a fifth-grade level face in Carlos Correa’s general direction.

For those wondering, that’s eight more games than a single Astro got for their involvement in TrashCanGate, and it’s the equivalent of 21-22 games in a 162-game season. That’s not a typo. Apparently, if this was a full year, Kelly would be out TWENTY GAMES for NOT HITTING ANYONE. What planet are we on?

But let’s try to not let that distract us from the Astros being the absolute worst. Let’s be more like L.A. Dodgers color commentator Orel Hershisher, who absolutely eviscerated Jose Altuve on Wednesday night after Altuve was caught looking on a 93-mph fastball that went directly down the middle of the plate:

First off, shoutout to Dodgers play-by-play man Joe Davis for putting that one on a freaking tee for Hershisher. But Hershisher still had to connect and connect he did. It was almost like Hershisher knew the joke was coming ahead of time, kind of like …. Yeah, you get it.

What’s so great about it is that’s a pitch Altuve normally feasts on. But the 2017 AL MVP has been completely lost these first six games, going 4-for-23 with eight strikeouts. This is a guy who has never struck out more than 85 times in a season, and he already has more Ks than games played this year. Still very early, but you still hate to see it. Guessing is indeed harder than knowing.

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