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March 04, 2020

Dish will actually pay you to watch 'The Office' for some reason

If we had a nickel for every time we watched an episode of 'The Office', we'd probably have like $20 bucks . . . hardly worth it, especially when you consider the effort it's going to take to drag 400 nickels to one of those supermarket coin exchange things and then pay all the associated fees. By the time you walk out of there, you're looking at like $16.40 for over a decade of loyal bingeing. It just doesn't add up. Thankfully, Dish is here to help balance the books, offering subscribers $1,000 to watch 15 hours of The Office over the course nine days. That, folks, is what we call easy money . . . or should we say Schrutebucks.

As with all good things, however, there are a few caveats. First of all, you can't just sit there in cloud of Cheetos dust while slipping in and out of consciousness. To earn your keep, Dish will provide you with a checklist of common tropes that may encounter in any of the roughly 45 episodes you choose to watch. These may include Stanley's eye rolls or Jim's smug little faces, but you'll have to be on your toes if you want to earn your keep.

Second of all, this isn't open to just any Netflix knuckle-dragger. You will have to apply March 15th by 5 p.m. MST and prove to the mad scientists over at Dish that you are, in fact, The Office's biggest fan. Video submissions are included, in case you have a never-before-seen Threat Level Midnight spin-off you're looking to premiere. In addition to the cold, hard cash, selected participants will also win a Netflix gift card, a “World’s Best Boss” mug, a Jell-O/stapler combo, and, best of all, your very own Dundie. To apply for the job at corporate, contact David Wallace here.