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Dan Campbell, true alpha, just called himself a “true alpha” in true true alpha fashion

March 02, 2021

Dan Campbell has only been head coach of the Detroit Lions for about six weeks. The league season hasn’t started yet. He’s had precious little time or opportunity to make an impact. It's the Detroit Lions.

Absolutely none of that matters to Dan Campbell.

The thermonuclear testosterone reactor has come out firing anyway, kicking off his almost assuredly doomed Motor City tenure with an introductory press conference in January that prompted us to call him “the world’s greatest new football alpha.”

Now it appears Campbell took those words to heart. When asked about who would have final roster decisions on Monday in a joint press conference with Lions GM Brad Holmes, he had only this to say:

We’re pretty sure this is Campbell calling himself a true alpha, turning an act of subservience into a show of strength as only an apex predator can. But it’s also plausible that this is a threat of imminent physical harm to Holmes thinly veiled as a compliment; another classic top-of-the-food-chain tactic.

Either way, it lends credence to the cold, hard truth of the matter: Dan Campbell is the new best quote in the NFL—a thespian of press conference theater we haven’t seen since the likes of Bill Belichick. Will he win games? Probably not. Will he be around this time next year? Who knows, but we plan to enjoy the ride for however long it lasts. All aboard the Campbell Express. Next stop, your momma’s house.