Genesis Scottish Open

The Renaissance Club

Secondhand Embarrassment

This video of Coach K walking out to 'Every Time We Touch' will make you want to be buried alive

Let's get this out of the way now - we do not care if "Every Time We Touch" by Cascada is a thing at Duke. If I wasn't an unbiased journalist, I wouldn't have even looked it up to see if it was a thing (it apparently is). Don't care. Do. Not. Care.

Even with the knowledge that it is a thing, the video you are about to see is, objectively, one of the most cringeworthy clips to ever grace social media. Again, and I cannot stress this enough, we do not care if this literal song and dance is a big thing at Cameron Indoor. Anyone jumping to defend it because of that is blinded by Blue Devil bias.

OK, enough filibustering. Actually, it's so bad that I feel bad putting it here so I'm going to continue to delay the process. If you know what's good for you, you'll X out of the page, close the laptop, and throw the laptop off the nearest cliff right this second. Get rid of the phone too. Maybe burn down your house while you're at it. You have been warned. Here goes nothing....

(last chance to look away...)

(Ok, LAST chance, we mean it this time...)

Good god. Didn't think in my wildest dreams/nightmares that I'd ever choose "being buried alive" over anything, but I think I'd choose it over having to watch that again. The secondhand embarrassment is too unbearable. Even the staunchest of Duke fans has to realize how bad that is, right?

Sadly, they likely will not, and many are already in the replies defending the unbelievably awkward 44-second clip. It'd be one thing if it was hundreds of people doing it in unison, like they supposedly do at the games. Would it still have some seriously cult-y vibes? Of course, but at least it would look and sound better. Two people doing it and thinking the whole crowd is behind them, when they are clearly not, is BRUTAL. And if this video is any indication, this retirement tour is going to be the most insufferable retirement tour in retirement tour history. Brace yourselves, Duke haters/literally everyone that didn't go to Duke, it's going to be a loooooooong year.