Human Rights Violation

The move Chris Paul put on Anthony Edwards on Monday night should be illegal in the lower 48

November 16, 2021

Chris Paul ain’t a spring chicken anymore. We don’t know what the hell a spring chicken is, but at 36 years old, we can tell you that Paul ain’t it. Earlier this year, Paul came up just short of his first (long-overdue, much-deserved) NBA championship. No one would have blamed him for hanging it up right then and there on the spot. There’s only so much heartache/break a man can take. But he didn’t. He picked himself up, dusted himself off, and decided to run it back with the Suns. No matter how this season ends, we’re glad he did for this moment and this moment alone. BEAR WITNESS.

Here’s a second angle in case you want it, which you do, you greedy little pig.

Absolutely sick stuff from CP3, who took Anthony Edwards—one of the best young players in the NBA—turned him inside out, strung him upside down, and pushed him into an interdimensional wormhole live on Bally Sports. Paul went on to miss the layup, but that was incidental given the human liquefaction that preceded it.

As for Edwards? Efforts to unscramble his brain are underway. His left cortex is now on the right and his right now on the left. He tastes colors and sees music. Thanks to the miracles of modern medicine, however, doctors believe he may one day set foot on a basketball court again. Stay strong, Ant. We’re with you.