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Chiefs vs. Patriots on Sunday is going to be like the surface of Hoth

January 15, 2019
Indianapolis Colts v Kansas City Chiefs

Jamie Squire

Remember our old friend the polar vortex—the massive low-pressure system that forms over the earth's poles before descending across the rest of the hemisphere just in time to turn your weekend ski trip into a frostbite jamboree? Well this weekend it's back like Tiger in 2018, threatening to slam the midwest with subarctic temps and turn Arrowhead into the surface of a fictional Star Wars ice planet for the AFC Championship Game on Sunday evening. Seriously, just check out this forecast. Mahomes is going to sleeping inside a Tauntaun by the time this thing is over:

According to the AP, temperatures are expected to range from well below zero to a balmy high of 10 degrees by the time kickoff rolls around, quickly elevating the game into the pantheon of the NFL's coldest. Somewhere Tom Brady is brewing up a nice hot pot of avococoa.

One look at that bright purple bruise hovering right above KC has apparently been enough to send more than a few Chiefs faithful running back to their brisket smokers, with Darren Rovell reporting on Monday that over 14% of the Arrowhead ticket stock—some 10,702 tickets—had already landed on NFL Ticket Exchange. Either some scalper is about to lose their shirt Canada Goose jacket, or fandom has simply found it's theoretical limit.

Iceacolypse or no, here's hoping the stands are packed and the Chiefs prevail, not only because they're great and fun and haven't been to the Big Game in [sound of calculator clacking] 17,906 days, but because we simply can't spend another Super Bowl Sunday watching the Patriots.