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Carson Couture

Carson Wentz showed up to his first Washington Commanders press conference dressed like Ronald McDonald’s sketchy accountant

March 17, 2022

In just a few short years, Carson Wentz has gone from MVP contendah to league laughing stock. We guess that’s what happens when you let Nick Foles steal your milk money, flame out of two cities, get blown out by the Jaguars in a win-and-in situation, and generally stink so bad that your former biggest advocate is forced to apologize to management for ever vouching for you. All of that (and plenty more) have seen Wentz spit out of the ass-end of the NFL barrel in recent weeks, landing at the derelict doorstep of FedEx Field.

Then, as if all of that wasn’t enough, on Thursday Wentz showed up to his first press conference as QB1 of the Washington Commanders looking like this:

It is really, really hard to believe this isn’t just a bad Photoshop job, but we promise you it’s as real as the air you are currently struggling to breathe. Why? How? What in God’s name? All valid questions, and all answered with a simple a retort:

Because the Commanders.

But the craziest thing about all this—crazier than showing up to your introductory press conference in the armpit of football dressed like you’re being enshrined in a Hall of Fame you will never even sniff—is that Wentz actually gives the Commanders a chance in the NFC Least. The Cowboys offense has been stripped for parts. The Eagles are poised to lose the Deshaun Watson sweepstakes. The Giants need a miracle helmet catch just to go 4-13. In some sick way, the division almost feels like the Commanders’ to lose. Make no mistake, they will lose it, but with Colonel Mustard at the helm, at least they'll lose it in style.