On Tuesday evening, just as we were going off the air for the day, the U.S. Women's National Team took poor ol' Thailand behind the woodshed in their opening game of the 2019 Women's World Cup. When the final whistle blew, the U.S. Women had won by two touchdowns and a Blair Walsh extra point, an all-time FIFA World Cup record, regardless of gender. It was cause for celebration, and celebrate the USWNT did, even as the goals began to pile up, with Alex Morgan breaking out the abacus to tally her fourth of five goals on the day (among plenty of other histrionics.)
Perhaps unsurprisingly given the state of our space rock circa 2019, it didn't take long for the criticism to start rolling in. The anti-run-up-the-score justice warriors came flocking out of the woodwork, followed closely by the Fun Police tactical response unit. Led by former members of the Canadian women's national team, they swarmed the sports world armed with wet blankets, hot takes, and sour grapes, tisk tisking the USA for their unrepentant show of enthusiasm.
It's at this point we feel compelled to say calm down, folks. It's just soccer. If you're going to call America "disgraceful," aim those comments at something that deserves it, like Carl's Jr. or the White House. And yet, here's what 101-cap former Canadian national Kalyn Kyle had to say about the USWNT celebrating the thing they've spent their entire lives working toward the past four years:
As a Canadian...we would just never, ever think of doing something like that. We played against the Americans before where you have a player like Christine Sinclair scoring three goals and she would never even think about counting how many goals she has on one hand. For me, it's disrespectful, it's disgraceful.
This sentiment coming from someone whose country could be found collectively cheering Kevin Durant's snapped achilles less than 24 hours earlier is an interesting one, to say the least, but hey everybody's entitled to their own opinion....even if the rampant hypocrisies contained within appear to be entirely unconsidered. At this point, it's extremely unlikely the U.S. or Canada can/will meet until the Final on July 7th, but if the stars (and stripes) should align, get those finger calculators ready folks, because it's gonna be a doozy.
In the meantime, here's some pump-up jamz to get you going: