Cam Newton dresses like 80-year-old grandmother, plays like one too

September 13, 2019

Want to know which starting NFL quarterback has the longest active losing streak? No, it's not Ryan Fitzpatrick or Case Keenum or Eli Manning. It's 2015 MVP Cam Newton, an ignominious honor that stretched to eight consecutive Ls with a loss to the Bucs on Thursday night. Late in the third quarter on third and short trailing by five, Cam coughed it up on a QB draw. Then, with 1:29 remaining and the ball on the one-and-a-half yardline, Ron Rivera and co. took Cam out of the play entirely, motioning him into the slot and directing snapping to Christian McAffery, who was summarily stuffed, ending the game. It was an ugly performance for Cam and the Cats, and the whole thing was summed by Cam's post-season attire, which could best be described as "snazzy Polish babushka."

Since starting last season 8-2, the Panthers are 1-9, with Cam under for eight of those. The lone win came in Week 17, with some guy named Taylor Heinicke under center. Since then, Cam has had shoulder surgery, abstained from sex for weeks on end (intentionally), and suffered a foot injury in the third game of an NFL preseason that should be wiped from the face of the earth. All of that came to a head on Thursday night, when Cam threw over 50 balls, completed less than half of them, turned it over in a high-leverage situation, and then showed up to the post-game press conference dressed your grandma after a particularly dominant parcheesi performance. As the internet quickly pointed out, context is everything.

In other words, next time you're going to get outplayed by Jameis Winston at home in primetime, show a little humility or perhaps even contrition. We're not saying go full Belichick on the fashion front, but come on, Cam. Would a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt kill you?