The Loop

Bruce Smith just delivered the best-worst answer in ‘Family Feud’ history

Bruce Smith is an NFL legend. His career encompassed 279 games, 19 seasons, and three decades, including 200 sacks along the way. He started eight games (and played in all 16) at defensive end for the Washington Redskins Redacteds in 2003 . . . at the age of 40. That. Just. Doesn’t. Happen. But Canton isn’t the only Hall of Fame Smith’s bust belongs in. This weekend, no. 78 cemented himself in the Hall of Best-Worst Game Show Answers with this absolute thunderbastard of a Family Feud fail. Ladies and gentleman, buckle those seatbelts.

Asked to name things Captain Hook would replace his hook with if moonlighting as a handyman instead of swashbuckling fantasy pirate (just go with it), Smith first replies “hammer,” which had been previously answered by his teammate in the Fast Money round. Scrambling for a backup with the clock running down, Smith digs deep. Fumbling around the inky depths of his mind, he grabs hold of the first thing he finds. “Penis!” he blurts out.

The rest, as they say, is history.

The answer is already iconic, but it’s the reaction from Steve Harvey that elevates this from the ridiculous to the sublime. Jumping right into the next question completely undeterred by the image of Captain Hook with a large phallic object dangling from his arm, Harvey's brain finally catches up with his ears. He stops mid-sentence, looks at the audience, and asks the important question of the night:

“What the f—k did he just say?”

Give the man the Emmys. All of the Emmys.

If you this setback is enough to slow Smith—a man who survived 15 seasons as a Buffalo Bill—on his quest for Family Feud greatness, however, then you have another thing coming. Mark our words: Smith will be a Family Feud champion yet . . . by, uh, hook or by crook.