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Born on the Bayou

Brian Kelly has been in Louisiana for five minutes and he's already talking with a southern accent

December 03, 2021

Brian Kelly has been the head coach of the LSU Tigers for about three days, and the man is so committed to his new job that he's suddenly speaking with a southern accent. Watch this clip from his appearance at halftime of Wednesday night's LSU-Ohio football game, and marvel at how the Everett, Massachusetts native is now Loozeeanna's no. 1 good ole boy...the highlight for me is the word "family" at the 20-second mark:

FOLKS, MUH NAME IS BRAHHHN "CRAWDAD" KELLY, AND AHM REPORTIN' FER DUTY!

The quote tweets here are a treasure trove—as of this writing, there are 804 and counting—and we'd be remiss not to give you a small sample of our favorites:

And one more, just for the sheer brutality:

To give Kelly a little break, he's not the only person to ever do this. Hillary Clinton famously speaks with a drawl every time she goes south of the Mason-Dixon, and it might be something more innocent than what it looks like on the surface, which is pathetic, superficial pandering. It might actually be a weird unconscious instinct to echo the people around you, for instance. Personally, every time I binge The Sopranos, I think in that particular Jersey dialect for like two weeks and walk around the house yelling 'OHHHH!' at every little thing I don't like until my wife threatens to divorce me. That said? I can promise you if I was in New Jersey hanging with the mafia (unlikely), I would not do that voice. I'm no hero, but I do have a little thing called self-control.

Anyway, the whole thing is completely hilarious, a little bit sad, and probably a very bad start to his tenure at LSU. Plus, if you're going to be plying your trade at Baton Rouge and you can't help going native, you've got to do the Ed Orgeron cajun voice. The plain southern accent ain't gonna cut it in the bayou, Brian Kelly. Now stop embarrassing yourself at basketball games and go rassle a gator.

Finally, though, I am compelled to deliver a heartfelt message from bloggers across the nation...thank you, coach.