DIY Nosebleeds

American heroes build illegal, rickety grandstand to watch Little League Classic

August 20, 2018

America was built with elbow grease and ingenuity. Just ask Bob Seger. When something doesn't go our way—like when the MLB tells us we can't exercise our god given right to watch some dang baseball darn it—we roll up our sleeves, throw up some scaffolding, and crack a few cold ones. Enter Little John Rockefeller and Benny Franklin, who, after learning only players and family members were allowed in the stands for the Mets vs. Phillies Little League Classic on Sunday evening, took matters into their own toolsheds.

RELATED: UMA Health is offering Mets fans free therapy

Honestly we have no idea how this little stunt came off without any amputations, tetanus shots, or strongly worded cease and desists from the offices of Manfred & Manfred, but you can't knock the sheer, unflinching commitment to America's pastime. Is it a lot of effort to watch the freakin' Mets? Are you sitting on top of a do-it-yourself lightning rod? Have you taught every kid in America that rules don't apply to them, only to others? Yes, yes, and yes, but these colors don't run (well, unless the cops show up).

Meanwhile, the Mets won 7-2, taking three of five from Philly who are crumbling faster than 15 feet of aluminum rods and plywood in the August breeze.

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