They See Me Rollin'

Akshay Bhatia is driving a U-Haul to the Wichita Open this week because he's too young to rent a car

Over at the lush expanses of The Country Club this week, PGA Tour (and LIV Golf) pros are being treated like Egyptian gods. They’re getting massages. They’re sipping sparkling water. Palm fronds are being fanned, grapes eaten off the vine, and leather-appointed courtesy cars guided into VIP parking spots. This last detail is particularly notable, because over on the hot, flat, arid plains of Kansas, Korn Ferry Tour player Akshay Bhatia is headed to the Wichita Open … in a U-Haul.

According to Bhatia’s girlfriend/caddie Presleigh Schultz, Bhatia needed a rental car to get to and fro Crestview Country Club this weekend. There was just one little hitch: Bhatia is 20 and the vehicle rental age in Kansas is 21. But like any resourceful lower-circuit gamer trying to make it to The Show, Bhatia found a loophole: U-Haul.

This story is partly about the absurdity of American lawmaking, where basic rules of the road change when you pass a “Welcome to …” sign. Where you can go to war for your country, purchase high-powered firearms, and even rent a janky van with no windows and shot shocks but can't pilot a Camry for a couple of days. It’s also about the grind of trying to make “The Tour,” a minor league baseball-like slog that charitably qualifies as a break-even on a good day and a fool's errand on a bad one.

But that’s the big picture. The littler picture is that Bhatia is driving to a professional golf tournament in a U-Haul this week. To quote the immortal (unkillable?) Larry the Cable Guy: I don’t care who you are, that’s funny.