15 signs you watch too much golf on TV

By Alex Myers

October 26, 2020

Photo By: Stacy Revere

Photo By: Chris Condon

Photo By: Ezra Shaw

Photo By: Gregory Shamus

You greet everyone by saying, “Hello, friends.” Even if they aren’t your actual friends. Even if it’s just one friend.

You can still rattle off every location where Golf Channel’s “Big Break” has ever been filmed.

You often start whispering like Roger Maltbie for no reason.

You know the difference between “Victory Red,” “Gym Red” and every other shade of Tiger Woods Sunday red.

Photo By: Stacy Revere

You get all your Christmas gift ideas from golf informercials.

You have trained yourself to plan bathroom breaks around those obligatory CEO interviews.

Your DVR is full of European Tour reruns.

You often forget to shower during weeks of major championships.

You plan your vacations to fall during weaker-field events.

When you check into a hotel, your first question is, “What channel is the Golf Channel?”

You frequently find yourself wondering, “What would Sir Nick think?” about major life decisions.

Photo By: Chris Condon

You have nightmares about bad weather—affecting that week’s PGA Tour event.

You are better at remembering the names of tour caddies than your in-laws.

Photo By: Ezra Shaw

You have trouble reading stop signs, but you can tell immediately what iron a player pulls from his bag.

Photo By: Gregory Shamus

You miss Johnny Miller in the booth more than you miss your own parents.