124th U.S. Open

Pinehurst No. 2

It's Called Fashion, Bro

U.S. Open 2022: What your view of Rory McIlroy and Tony Finau's shirts says about you


David Cannon

BROOKLINE — It's the first day of a major championship, which means one thing: Nike-sponsored golfers are going to be rocking some BOLD looks that set Golf Twitter ablaze. You know that joke about getting a bad haircut, where the meme reads like this:

Barber: What can I do for you today?

You: F--- me up fam.

It seems as though a similar conversation takes place between Nike and players like Rory McIlroy and Tony Finau before each major. Here's McIlroy's Thursday look, which features some sort of floral pattern:

McIlroy wears it well, though it helps that he's off to a fast start, picking up right where he left off at the RBC Canadian Open. Finau has not arrived to the course yet, but he already previewed his #looks for the week on his Instagram story Wednesday night:

We know Nike's slogan is "Just do it," but this week "It's floral SZN" might be more apropos.

Before the many hilarious voices of Golf Twitter start ripping these shirts to shreds, we broke down what your view of said shirts might say about you below. Let's put on our Project Runway caps, shall we?

If you LOVE Tony and Rory's shirts

You are more than likely under the age of 25 and you take golf fashion pretty seriously. For your golf trips you definitely lay out all of your outfits on your bed and tweet out / Tik Tok your "scripting." Color coordination is super important to you, and you're not afraid of literally any type of pattern on a shirt. You have no qualms about dropping $125 on Greyson stuff and all your friends say you have the best "drip." Much like Deion Sanders, you live by the "look good, play good" mantra. While all the old heads around you are making fun of Rory and Finau's shirts, you're saying "that's low-key fire" in your head.

If you "like" Tony and Rory's shirts

You're in between the ages of 30 and 40 but you've accepted that you're past your fashion forward prime. You made the transition from flat brims to dad hats long ago, even if you don't have any kids. You say stuff like "damn, Rory looks great, but I can't pull that stuff off anymore" in the hopes someone will respond "no way man, you could rock it!" The only golf shirts you wear now have country club logos on them, and a few stripes is about as bold as you'll get. Now, you're more focused on belts, all of which cost an obscene amount of money in whichever pro shop you were last at. I know I said you were a dad hat guy now, but you're beginning to wonder if bucket hats are something you might be interested. Can never be too careful with the sun, right?

If you HATE Tony and Rory's shirts

It's over for you. Full dad mode. Nothing but Peter Millar, Footjoy or Ralph Lauren shirts, all of which are hanging in the backseat of your car "just in case" you get an afternoon invite at the office. Your golf shorts go all the way past your knee but also somehow ride up all the way to your nipples. No stripes, no patterns, no nothing on your shirts. Straight solids, homie. During the witching hour of an NFL Sunday, you're wrestling the remote from your son to "check back in" on Freddy Couples' back nine in the PGA Tour Champions event. Finau and McIlroy's shirts send you into a fit of rage that no one will listen to, causing you to say out loud to no one in particular "I'm gonna start one of them Twitter accounts and speak my mind to Nike!" Fran Quinn is the type of guy you'd love to have a beer with, and on Father's Day this Sunday, when your family asks what you want to do, you'll respond "I just want to watch the golf and doze off." Hopefully, by then, the Nike looks have toned down a bit and you can have an anger-free viewing experience. Also, Happy Father's Day and enjoy the golf.