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Loser Bowl

The worst college football game of the season just got even worse

October 08, 2021

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On Saturday at 3:30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, live from DA ZOO, the world will bear witness to the official Worst College Football Game of the Season (and Possibly of All-Time) between 129th-ranked UConn and 130th-ranked UMass. Both teams come into the game winless on the season and in dire need of FCS relegation. UConn’s low-water mark came in a 38-28 loss to Holy Cross (imagine coughing up 38 points to HOLY FREAKIN’ CROSS) while UMass’ signature drubbing came at the hands of Toledo last weekend, who smashed the Minutemen 52-7. This are unprecedented levels of FBS incompetence we're talking about here, and the numbers back that up.

But wait, it gets even better (and by better, we mean much, much worse). On Friday, news broke that UConn interim coach Lou Spanos, along with two other members of his staff and two players, had tested positive for COVID-19 and will miss Saturday’s much-anticipated loser bowl. UConn defensive line coach Dennis Dottin-Carter will take the headset in Spanos’ sted.

So let’s recap: Two of the worst college football teams in the modern history of the sport will face off on a crisp fall afternoon in New England, both desperately searching for their first win of the season. Now one is down to their third-string head coach. Cancel the apple picking. Tell the hayride driver to step on it. This is must-see TV and you can’t miss it, come hell, high water, or jack o’ lanterns.