The Loop

TV host goes on epic rant about airlines losing his clubs

May 02, 2016


If you're a frequent flyer, odds are your golf clubs have been misplaced a time or two. It's such a prominent occurrence that an entire business market has emerged to answer this problem.

Yet, while it's a frustrating affair, it's just golf equipment. Ninety-nine percent of the time, the sticks are returned safe and sound; if they're lost, the airlines cut a check for replacements. Golf courses have loaners on site.

Despite what journalist Roland Martin might have you believe, it's not the end of the world.

Martin is a radio and television host on TV One, and a former CNN contributor. But we don't care about Martin's political commentary. It's this legendary Twitter rant regarding American Airlines' handling of his golf clubs that caught our attention.

Strap in, everybody. We are about to go for a ride.

The narrative begins on Sunday in relative innocuous fashion:

You realize you're still about to experience the miracle of flight, correct? God forbid if your journey 40,000 feet above the Earth is delayed by an hour. But we'll let this slide.

This one also gets a pass:

On the bright side, has to be the first time anybody ever said "really messing up my George Lopez plans."

But seriously, Martin wants us to know America Airlines is throwing a wrench into his itinerary:

Roland sends a few more Tweets about the same topic, then hits us with this bombshell:

Alright, I feel for ya on this one, R-Mart. If they were smart, Ship Sticks would have a person solely dedicated to monitoring Tweets like this and contacting them about their company's services.

As you can imagine, Martin is a tad upset, and proceeds to make some bold accusations:

You know, compared to the rest of us who aren't supporters of customer service.

But wait, there's a shining light in Roland's world of darkness!

No, thank YOU, Dee Dee. Because of your Herculean efforts, you saved us from listening to this 47-year-old man gripe about his first-world problems. That seemed to douse the fires . . . until those flames began to burn bright again on Monday morning.

I think I have used "deplorable" once, and it was in reference to a shoe company's child labor force overseas. One of us is using the word wrong.

Why does George Lopez need an emcee, anyway? Couldn't he just handle those duties? How big of an event is this? Perhaps the fact that Roland Martin is running the show answers that question.

OK, understandably vexing, and one of the few times I'm siding with Roland. Conversely, if the clubs mean THAT much to you, why don't you just run to the airport and pick them up yourself?

I used to think cleaning Mardi Gras port-a-johns was the worst job on the planet. Now, it's clear that designation goes to the poor sap that has to scroll through Roland Martin's American Airlines' mentions.

Actually, airlines charge you for shipping clubs, too. But let's not bring up facts at a time like this.

I know the air travel industry is hurting, but going on a limb and saying American Airlines might survive losing your business, Roland.

Delays don't have a time limit on them. That's why they are called "delays."

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: @TheJakeWesley is a man of reason.

Thanks for the heads up.

Bet George is pumped to have you in his foursome. Judging by your Twitter feed, you seem like barrels of fun.

Alright, now I'm scared for American Airlines. This sounds like a line out of The Godfather.

And...we are officially off the rails:

Strangely nowhere in Roland's Twitter bio is there mention of his top worker stint at Wendy's?

Compared to those other Wendy's workers who didn't play by the rules.


Trust me, if Al Gore knew this was how the Internet would be used, he would have never invented it.

Yeah, where the hell is Dee Dee in all of this? THE BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS, DEE DEE.

I imagine these tweets are being passed around the American Airlines boardroom in the same way a video like this gets forwarded through the Golf Digest office.

I'm sure Chick-fil-A is thrilled to be dragged into this.

In conclusion, warning to all future Roland Martin travel carriers: If you want the man's business, don't lose his golf clubs.