Depth Perception

Trevor Bauer is now plunking guys with one eye closed too

Trevor Bauer is a cool, cool guy. He lives fast and throws hard. He says what he thinks and thinks what he says. This offseason, when it came time to pick between the bright lights of Hollywood and, um, whatever Flushing, Queens has, Bauer trolled half the city of New York and then went with Tinseltown, La La Land, the City of Angels. What else would a cool guysdo?

Now basking in the land of the cabriolet and the boob job, this week Bauer started experimenting with a revolutionary cool-guy pitching technique: Throwing with one eye closed, just to keep things interesting. He threw a couple strikes, pointed to his eye to make sure everyone knew it was shut, and the internet, as the internet is wont to do, went wild.

But take it from a former cool guy, Trevor. All cool guys are doomed to become un-cool guys. It is the immutable curse of the cool guy, and on Thursday night, Bauer learned that hard way when he went from throwing strikes with one eye closed to plunking batters with one eye closed. Whoops.

That should be it for Bauer’s little experiment. Bauer is scheduled to make $28 million this year (which escalates to $40 million if both sides agree to the one-year opt out.) Call us prudes or, worse yet, company men, but that’s too much to be getting paid for wiffle ball tricks two weeks from Opening Day. But hey, it was fun while it lasted, and that’s all any of us can really ask for.