The Loop

This video of a minor league player doing the splits will tear your hamstrings by proxy

Dancing With the Stars? American Ninja Warrior? Aly Raisman's Instagram? Nope, this is just Blue Jays first baseman Emilio Guerrero getting bad and boogie with it at a minor league baseball game in beautiful Manchester, New Hampshire last night. Watch it and weep for your hammys:

Once you're done puking and rubbing Bengay all over the backs of your thighs, take another look: Not only is Guerrero 6' 4" and not supposed to be able to break it down like that AT ALL, he also manages to turn the double play and stall it jock-to-basepath for a few seconds, racking up some serious style points in the process.

Needless to say, on another summer night in America where 3.2 million baseball games were waged between South Carolina and Northern California, Guerrero turned in the highlight. So join us as we doff our caps and clink our beers. This one's for you, Emilio. We're glad you can still feel your legs.