The ultimate Thanksgiving football guide-o-rama-plex

Welcome to the Ultimate Football Week of the Year, brought to you by Generic Cellular. From historic high school playoffs to seismic college football rivalries to a bunch of 7-9 NFL teams scrapping tooth-and-nail to go 8-8, there is simply no better way to avoid your family, melt your brain, and bruise your eyeballs than six straight days of hut-hut-hike. In that spirit, The Loop is proud to present our inaugural Thanksgiving-week football guide, breaking down what, when, and how to watch the biggest games from the biggest football week of the year while standing in a Best Buy line at 6:30am watching two middle-aged women attempt to scalp each other over a Best of Blue Collar Comedy box set. Sit down, settle in, and consume.

Monday 11/20: Are you ready for some footballll?

The football feast begins on Monday night with a rematch of last year's NFC Championship game. Expect a lot of terrible offensive line play and Sean McDonough.

Atlanta Falcons vs. Seattle Seahawks – 8:30pm on ESPN

Tuesday 11/21: #MACtion Triple Header

THE HOTTEST HASHTAG IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS BACK, BABY! [Full Dick Vitale voice]

BC High vs. Catholic Memorial — 5pm at Fenway Park

Kent State vs. Akron – 7pm on ESPN3

Bowling Green vs. Eastern Michigan – 7pm on ESPN3

Miami Ohio vs. Ball State – 7pm on ESPN3

Wednesday 11/22: Fenway Gridiron Series

High school football at Fenway or hanging out with your ex-girlfriend and band buddies at the townie bar? Those are your two Thanksgiving-Eve options and it’s not hard to figure out which one is worth the hangover.

Masconomet vs. Everett — 5pm at Fenway Park

Hingham vs. Scituate — 7:45pm at Fenway Park

Thursday 11/23: Screw Your Parade, Grandma

There’s a parade, a dog show, your sister-in-law’s kid videos, and football all fighting for TV real estate today. May the seas be calm on your journey, humble football pilgrim.

Detroit Lions vs. Minnesota Vikings – 12:30pm on FOX

Dallas Cowboys vs. Los Angeles Chargers – 4:30pm on CBS

Backyard Bowl: Shirts vs. Skins – Whenever everybody finishes their fifth beer, not televised (come on, have you seen yourself without a shirt on?)

New York Giants vs. Washington Redskins – 8:30pm on NBC

Ole Miss vs. Mississippi – 6:30pm on ESPN

Friday 11/24: National Watching These at the TGI Fridays in the Mall Day

Do you know how many College Football games are happening this weekend in America? These are just highlights. If you’re a big Prairie View A&M fan, sorry not sorry.

Baylor vs. TCU – 12pm on FS1

Miami vs. Pittsburgh – 12pm on ABC

Navy vs. Houston – 12pm on ESPN

Missouri vs. Arkansas – 2:30pm on CBS

USF vs. UCF – 3:30 on ESPN

Iowa vs. Nebraska – 4pm on FS1

Texas Tech vs. Texas – 8pm on FOX

Virginia Tech vs. Virginia – 8pm on ESPN

Cal vs. UCLA – 10:30pm on FS1

Saturday 11/25: Civil War

The Sunshine Showdown, the Iron Bowl, and Ohio State vs. Michigan on the same day? Needless to say, there will be more bad blood on Saturday afternoon than at the Thanksgiving table.

Ohio State vs. Michigan – 12pm on FOX

Florida St. vs. Florida – 12pm on ESPN

Louisville vs. Kentucky – 12pm on SEC Network

Georgia vs. Georgia Tech – 12pm on ABC

Alabama vs. Auburn – 3:30pm on CBS

North Carolina vs. NC State – 3:30pm on ESPNU

Wisconsin vs. Minnesota – 3:30pm on ABC

West Virginia vs. Oklahoma – 3:45pm on ESPN

Northwestern vs. Illinois – 4pm on FS1

Vanderbilt vs. Tennessee – 4pm on SEC Network

Arizona vs. Arizona State – 4:30pm on PAC 12 Network

Grambling vs. Southern – 5pm on NBC Sports Network

Oregon St. vs. Oregon – 7pm on ESPN2

Clemson vs. South Carolina – 7:30pm on ESPN

Texas A&M vs. LSU – 7:30pm on SEC Network

Washington State vs. Washington – 8pm on FOX

Notre Dame vs. Stanford – 8pm on ABC

Sunday 11/26: Good Luck Streaming These on Airport Wi-Fi

Take heart. While you’re stuck in some god-forsaken hell hole with a bunch of other family-fried have-work-tomorrows, you can at least watch your team kick its playoff hopes off the roof via a series of tiny pixelated arrows streaming on four-and-a-half-minute delay. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO REVIEW A F&#^%%@ COMPLETION COME ON!

Buffalo Bills vs. Kansas City Chiefs – 1pm on CBS

Tennessee Titans vs. Indianapolis Colts – 1pm on FOX

Cleveland Browns vs. Cincinnati Bengals – 1pm on CBS

Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Atlanta Falcons – 1pm on FOX

Miami Dolphins vs. New England Patriots – 1pm on CBS

Chicago Bears vs. Philadelphia Eagles – 1pm on FOX

Carolina Panthers vs. New York Jets – 1pm on FOX

Seattle Seahawks vs. San Francisco 49ers – 4:05pm on FOX

New Orleans Saint vs. Los Angeles Rams – 4:25pm on CBS

Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Arizona Cardinals – 4:25pm on CBS

Denver Broncos vs. Oakland Raiders – 4:25pm on CBS

Green Bay Packers vs. Pittsburgh Steelers – 8:30pm on NBC